Tekla Szymanski
I’m a reluctant freelancer, but 
I have no choice. You see, I’ve always been a full-time staff editor. Then, the magazine where I worked ceased publication. Some of my colleagues found work again, but most didn’t, including many women who were in the midst of their career. Our long experience had become a hindrance — we were too expensive and we had children.
While struggling to cut corners, editors and publishers rely on unpaid interns fresh out of college who work 24/7, on inexperienced young part-timers without health insurance and on us — hordes of freelancers — frustrated professionals who are poorly paid. Some enjoy this arrangement and the flexible work hours, but I hate it. I miss the daily discussions around the water cooler. I miss attending editorial meetings, delegating tasks and being part of a team. I miss the frenzy just before deadline. I miss being visible. Hell, I even miss my morning commute in the crowded subway, holding on for dear life to my steaming cup of coffee with one hand, while trying to keep together all sections of the paper in the other.
As a freelance writer/editor and mother of a 6-year-old, I’m often confronted with the same argument: “You ought to be thrilled working from home! You can spend more time with your daughter! I wish I were in your shoes.” “No, I ’m not thrilled!” I almost shout in reply. “Yeah, I’m at home, but that’s my office! My work hours are the same as yours — and then some. I don’t lounge in my pajamas in front of the TV and watch Judge Judy. I’m an editor who works from home, while my daughter is at school until early evening.”
“Oh.” I hear the other side inhale sharply, and I always detect a hint of disapproval that I don’t pick up my daughter earlier. I detect annoyance when they learn that I’m not satisfied that I’m not a full-time housewife and mom or a hired worker bee.
Too many women acknowledge a working mother only if she works outside her home. They have trouble categorizing me: Is she a part-time mom doing some work on the side? Is she a freelancer because she’s not good enough to be hired? Is she a pampered, bored housewife with time to spare?
Many people don’t hold full-time freelancing in high esteem, and they don’t count freelancing mothers with the general work force, but I’m part of it, and I’m lonely.
Filed under: NYWICI | 7 Comments
Hi Tekla,
At least you have some work. I on the other hand have been attempting to find solid work for a long time with some luck and a lot of frustration. However, I am certain that we will both work in an office again and these challening times will seem like a distant memory. Regards, Lois
Tekla,
I absolutely understand how you feel. I understand it, not because I feel the same way, but you expressed such repressed energy that I felt your isolation. Great writing.
As a freelancer who also does not watch Judge Judy and hang in her pajamas I feel the lack of respect by others, too…but the best comment I have gotten is “I could never work at home. I don’t have enough disapline. You must be highly organized and disaplined.”
Hope you run into people who at least give you that while you’re dying to be in the center of the action. Oh, and as far as the disapproval from others who seem to be
inferring that you ought to pick up your daughter sooner…I have two words for them and it’s not ‘Happy Birthday.”
Best to you,
Carol
Tekla,
I guess there are multiple sides to every story, and working from home is not for everyone.
I’ve been a home-based independent business writer since late 1991 and love it. I am far more productive than I ever was when I was “inside” — no office politics, no commuting, fewer meetings, and better control of my schedule. Over the years, I’ve learned to erect boundaries to keep clients from impinging on my personal time and to keep nonclients from impinging on my work time. Because I have so much flexibility, working into the evening or on weekends when needed is not a hassle.
There’s no question that it’s less complicated because I don’t have children. And I am fortunate to have a spouse who is very supportive of my choice to be self-employed and work from home. I did recognize early on that I needed to stay connected to the “outside,” which is why I became very active in NYWICI and other outside activities.
When I first went out on my own, I established a network of other freelancers. They provided so much help and advice in adapting to this life. I also became involved in community work that allowed me to use my writing skills and fill up the gap when things were slow. That and NYWICI helped me retain my sanity in the early years before business built up. Several pieces of advice that I received early on that were most helpful: You have to decide whether you really want to freelance or go back to working for someone else. It’s tough to freelance and look for full-time work at the same time. And clients are often reluctant to work with a freelancer who won’t be around for long. It took me a while to sort that out. Once I did, I never looked back. If you decide to commit to freelancing, or starting any business, give yourself time to succeed.
Hope that helps.
Catherine
I completly understand about the isolation you feel working out of your home, no one to bounce ideas and creativity off of. I feel it myself, along with a family that doesn’t understand the boundary between my work stuff and their domain. It is a frustrating experience when you find your important papers all over the floor or day old snacks on your desk (and they are not yours! yuck).
In regard to exploring your options to find what could be out there for you, you may want to check out CareerPeeks Foundation. http://www.careerpeeks.org We are a non profit organization that takes young women out into the field to meet with professionals in various fields. The sessions are about 1and1/2 hrs and are free to attend. You get the chance to meet and ask questions to people that could possibly help guide you to your next step.
Remember, life can change in a moment.
Good luck! And congratulations on your baby. Motherhood is the best and most difficult job there is….and never a vacation.
While freelancing may not be for everyone, the attitude you project is one of sheer negativity. Perhaps if you come from the positive and see yourself as a consultant, with a particular expertise, you will be able to turn your business around and make it into something more gratifying. I am a seasoned creative marketing professional, award winning writer and wound up as a consultant because the agency I worked for as a V.P. Marketing, also went out of business. I never positioned myself or thought of myself as a freelancer, nor do my clients. They respect my expertise and know that I am a consultant. Perception is reality. Granted, having no one to “play with” during the day, that lack of office interaction isn’t always the greatest — but when you have appointments to see your clients, try to schedule a lunch date or take an hour for yourself to go to a museum or do something you enjoy. Hope you can work this out for yourself.
Tekla,
Don’t be hard on yourself. You state your problem up front -
you are not a freelancer by design. It doesn’t matter what you call yourself, and I don’t think an attitude adjustment is what you need. You are simply in a position you didn’t choose and don’t enjoy.
I’ve worked independently from home and have had corporate jobs and positions in small, creative agencies. I’ve liked aspects of each situation, but know at this point I wouldn’t want to be totally on my own.
I’ve found a happy medium as a long-term contract consultant. I’m paid by an agency on an hourly basis and work in communications departments of companies that need (and are willing to pay for) experienced, senior-level people. This is my second contract (the first lasted 18 months)and I negotiated a four-day work week. Granted, there are no benefits but the pay is excellent, it is regular, and I’m integrated into the company as I would be as a permanent employee. There have also been opportunities to apply for permanent positions – none have been right for me but the possibility does exist.
This type of situation might be a good bridge for you – let me know if you are interested and I will pass along a contact or two.
Think the blog and corresponding comments a terrific idea for all those out there in the workplace.